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Nov. 15th, 2007 | 05:13 pm
mood: excitedexcited
music: like a feather--nikka costa

 

…and also, how do people do that?  How do they get up at, like, six and exercise?  How does one drag one’s carcass from under the toasty, comfy covers and go to town on a treadmill? Tell me, please, because I would really love to be able to do that. I would like to get up, maybe do some belly dancing or something equally fun and beneficial, and then go about my day feeling confident in my superiority over those lazy slobs who just rolled out of bed and came to work.

     And just deciding to do it isn’t an option for me. I need something else. I’m not terribly fond of exercise. Wait, that’s not right. And that sounds like such a stereotypical fat person comment. I like to move and work up a sweat, but I don’t necessarily want to have an exercise routine. 25 minutes of crunches and weights, 30 minutes workout tape, 40 minutes on the treadmill seems like a drag (plus, I can’t even fathom how people can work out for hours at a time. It’s inhuman). I loved playing softball in my younger days (I so regret dropping that) and I like walking places as long as I can walk at my own snail-like pace and take breaks when I need them. But I really can’t do either of those things anymore. Walking anywhere is impossible where I live, and I think if I tried to run from home plate to 1st base, I might collapse. Yes, I am that out of shape. I have to do something. But what?

     I’ve thought of trying to make yoga a part of my morning routine, but the one time I did it early, I ended up taking a two hour nap. I’ve thought about some dance tape or something. I can’t really call it dancing, what I do though, but it’s fun.  Lately, I’ve been listening to Beyonce’s “ Get Me Bodied” trying to make my limbs remember how to do the Roger Rabbit (weren’t the 90s fun?). I listen to Gwen Stefani’s “What You Waitin’ For?” while I brush my teeth just ‘cause it makes me wanna punch every naysayer, gawker, smart-ass, and yes-butter right in the face. I mean that in a good way. So if I could just set aside half an hour, I could dance around, get my heart rate up and be in a better mood for work. I could do this… only… it would require me to get my shit together the night before. No more sitting on my bed staring into space for twenty minutes. No more sitting on the toilet trying to get enough strength to wash myself. If I got up at 6:00 AM and exercised for half an hour, I would still have time to get my coffee and be on time. I’ll try it tomorrow. Modest goals. 

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